A SIX POINT GUIDE TO A STRESS FREE HOUSE HUNTING

Buying a house can be an overwhelming process, especially if you do not know the knack of all the steps and procedures that go with it. Below are some of the checkpoints one should keep in mind to make the process smoother. After all, it is our dream home that we are searching and the journey should be as rewarding as the destination.

CONSULT A GOOD REALTOR

A dedicated realtor is the first and foremost requirement to start your house hunt project. One can benefit a lot from the expertise and research and inputs of the realtor. Your realtor if efficient would be able to read your specifications and try and show you the houses that you might be interested in. Also, their network of attorneys, lenders, appraisers etc. comes in handy in the process of purchase. The sellers also have their realtors and one can approach them, but always remember that the seller’s realtor is working for the seller and not you and hence he would always be in favor of his client. Your realtor is your knight in the shining armor. He is the one who would communicate and negotiate on your behalf. You can read reviews of realtors in your area on websites like Zillow or trulia and then take a call. If they are associated to a real estate firm even better, as you can avail a wide range of ancillary services provided by the real estate firm just through your realtor.

In other words, if you have managed to find a good realtor believe me you are baking your cake and eating it too.

SHOP AROUND FOR LENDERS

It is advisable to always get a pre- approval from various lenders to be able to know what range of property to target. This would depend on a lot of criteria like: the credit score of the borrower, the credit history of the borrower, the percentage of down payment, tenure of the loan and also the type of loan i.e. variable interest or fixed interest.  Based on all these parameters you can choose from FHA, Conventional or interest only loans.

Different lenders would give you different interest rates and different quotes and they would also run a credit check. It is advisable that you shop for the loan at the same time at all the lenders. Meaning if the credit check is run then there would be a hard hit on the credit score. But the rule says that the hit is affected every 13 days. Hence, get as many lenders as you want within 13 days and complete your lenders shopping in just one hard hit.

Again, if you have a good realtor who is tagged to a real estate firm, you can use their network and also get customized loan plan.

THE HOUSE HUNT

I believe that no matter what, there is this one house which is destined for you and that house would wait for you and no one else. If it is going to happen it would. Be very clear on your criteria like the school district, the age of the house, the look and feel, the number of rooms, etc. It is very important that you and your realtor are on the same page as far as your requirements are concerned.

When you are viewing the properties view them with your décor and furniture in the mind. Minus the cosmetics of the house as you can change the cosmetics to suit your requirement. For eg, you might not like the present color scheme of the house, but that can be changed in few thousands of dollars but if there is a defect in the elevation or you do not appreciate the floor plan then definitely strike it out of the list.  Always give importance to things that cannot be changed like the floor plan, the subdivision and the lot size. Rest all is cosmetics and can be changed.

We were lucky to have a great realtor who educated us on these grounds. As a result of this you make a practical choice and stay close to the market rate.

NEVER BUY THE MOST EXPENSIVE HOUSE IN YOUR SUBDIVISION

This is a very important aspect. While you are hunting for house you would often like the ones that are all upgraded and remodeled. But wait and look around. Tomorrow when you would go out in market to sell that property, you would not get more than the market price of that subdivision or area. Hence try and be close to the market rate of the subdivision or the area that you are targeting. As a result you would get the return on your investment in future. If you end up buying the most expensive house in your subdivision, you might have a tough time selling it as it is hard to justify the reason you paid a premium while buying it and so you demand a premium while selling it. Remember the buyer would not look at your house the way you looked at it while you were buying.

THE INSPECTION AND APPRAISAL

It is always recommended to get the property appraised and inspected. It is in the buyer’s interest. The reason being, we as buyer do not know the property that well as the seller. The inspection report clarifies whether the property is in proper condition or not. The appraisal report would determine the market value of the property. Hence, as a buyer you are assured whether you are paying the correct price for the property or not.

THE CLOSING

This is the last step. On the day of the closing you give your down payment check and after a lot of documentation, you are handed over the keys of the house. Make sure you collect all the warranties from the current owner and you transfer all the utilities under your name a day before the closing. This brings to an end of the journey of buying a house.

We were very fortunate to have a great realtor by our side who educated us through each and every step in this process. I hope this comes handy to anyone who is in process of finding his dream house.

Good luck. Stay blessed.

Roots and Wings.......

                                              

Roots and wings define a very important element of parenting. I feel that as a parent we should maintain a balance in providing roots as well as wings to our children.

let us take an example, we often come across kids who are spoilt. Now is that the kid's fault? Was that kid born with that attitude? Not really, it is the parent's fault. They forgot give the roots to the kid and gave him wings too early.

we also come across some conservative parents who have such well behaved kids, but they tend to pull the string little too far. They try to supervise and micro manage each and every aspect of their kid's life. Probably they forgot to give wings to their kids.

I must say here that it is important to give both roots and wings but the order in which they are given is also important. Once the kid get the wings, you can never ever give him the roots and visa versa. The.The order is important and so is the timing.

let's analyse a step further, as to what happens when there is an absence of either of these two elements. The kids without the roots would be by default  brats, confussed, not focussed and worthy of making mistake. But have we realized that absence of wings also does the same thing. They would lose focus, would be confused as they are not the decision makers and often make some unpleasant mistakes just to experience that sense of freedom.

All I would say is let us give them right thing at the right time. giving them roots is our way of showing them the world and by giving them wings we give them a fair chance to show us the world their way.

So lets all love the little angels that we have and give them the best at the best time... and the most important thing TRUST THEM.... 

Together we can.....

                                  

    The other day I was watching a hindi movie, Mary Com, based on the real life story of an Indian Female Boxer who has been a world champion. This lady dared to do what people thought was impossible. She dared to balance her personal and professional life and managed to excel in both.

This set me thinking as to what makes Mary Com, The Mary Com and Sachin Tendulkar, The Sachin Tendulkar or for that matter Amitabh Bachchan, The Amitabh Bachchan. When we deeply ponder on the lives of these legends we see that they have one thread that is common. It is not only their dedication, humble attitude, but their great Partnerships. They have strong life partners, the ones who could visualize their success more than they did and could sacrifice their own life’s goal for their partners.

Could you imagine Sachin Tendulkar being able to roam around the globe creating records if he was not secure that his kids were in safe hands and that he had a strong partner to take care of eventualities? What if Anjali Tendulkar would have put her foot down and said she being a doctor herself would not take the sole responsibility of raising the kids while he is away. I am sure Sachin wouldn’t be a legend then.

let me take you one step further, would you have the same respect for Sachin Tendulkar if he only concentrated on his play, did not get married and would not want to start a family? Anything that is incomplete and directed to just one direction is not welcomed. the fact that these all legends have gained respect in the eyes of people is not only for their work but also for a sense of completion that they have achieved by touching up and carving all the niches of their lives.believe me they could not have done it alone. It is the partnership that works. It would be very negative to say that Anjali sacrificed. I would say she prioritized. She embraced her spouse’s dreams and together they achieved everything; a successful career for both, two kids and fame.

This brings to life a very important management lesson: diversify and expand but synergize. It is wiser for partners to have different skill sets, different dreams and be able to synchronize them and achieve them. By doing this you can expand leaps and bound. This is an age old concept being used by almost all big and successful organizations. However, what I would like to highlight here is that even as individuals we can also use this in our own lives.

Imagine how life would be if both the husband and wife are only chasing money. They would certainly end up getting a lot of money. But would certainly lose on many more important aspects of life. But if they plan to diversify and expand, then they can achieve a little bit of everything.

By saying this I do not mean that one partner needs to say good bye to his own dreams to let the other one full fill his. No, I say that make your partners dreams yours and then see how the world changes. Anjali Tendulkar did not say goodbye to her career, but she definitely knew where to balance and how to manage, without throwing a feat on her spouse.

I conclude saying that let us all synergize for a greater good. Let us not think of just our own goals and careers but also think of the family goals and happiness of each one. I truly feel that everyone has immense potential to reach their goals and soar high but only a few reach there because along with their hard work they have someone in their life who truly believes ‘THEY CAN”. Find your  someone who believes in YOU and hold on to them because you may be soaring high but they are the ones who make you do that. Likewise, believe in someone and be with them in the times they need you and see how world around you blossoms.

                                                                                                                                                   

Amchi Mumbai reloaded........

Hello there, so sorry, I am writing after a long time but jus got busy with my migration. Believe me, leaving Mumbai was not at all easy.  After spending close to a decade in this city of dreams, I realised that you either would love it or hate it, but can't be indifferent to it.

More I miss being in Mumbai, more I feel like thanking the city and the people for helping me in being what I am. This city teaches you to be on your own and yet be surrounded by people. It served as a boot camp for my life to come.

Today when I am in USA for a longer duration, I do not feel the stress of coping up with the lifestyle and the routine. It is more or less the same as it was back home. The attitude of people is also non interfereing, just like Mumbai.

A very very important thing that the city teaches you is accepting and respecting cultural diversity and that is what came handy in this new country.  I see myself as more experimentative with people and more receptive to new culture.

My six year old daughter once was asked to compare which one is better? USA or Mumbai. She very wisely answered saying USA doesn't have anything great that Mumbai doesn't have, except better roads and a bigger house.

I believe every city that you live, leaves a little bit of it's flavour in you. But Mumbai is my essense. I am happy that I could dream and see my dreams come true in that city of dreams. Would love to return to the base to be with those lovely friends and neighbours.

Till then. Amchi Mumbai ........

I would end this blog with few lines from one of my favourite songs from the movie namaste London..

"Main jahan rahu, kahi bhi rahu,

Teri yaad saath hai,

Kisi se kahoon ya nahin kahoon,

Yeh jo dil ki baat hai,

Kehne ko saath apne yeh dooniya chalti hai

Par chhoop ke is dil mein tanhai rehti hai

Teri yaad saath hai...."

Luv u my city.......

happy children's days...

Cant complain,"my hands are full", they are filled with joy

 

 Oh! I still remember those days when I used to get scared by listening to people making a big deal about having two kids. I always thought them to be super achievers and super moms. But here I am today with my two lovely daughters and don’t feel any of those cribbing to be true. This makes me think as to how does this happen. I often heard moms saying,’with two you don’t get time for anything’. If you ask me, I feel I get more time to myself than what I used to get earlier; as my older daughter now has her sister as her company and I am relieved. I don’t say that what the other mothers say is an exaggeration, but I certainly feel that my grueling studies of management for five years has helped me to strike a perfect balance between the two important aspect of my lives i.e. ME and MY KIDS.

Let me now compare parenting to a management project which needs to be completed on a six sigma level. I would say so because my kids are my most valuable projects and my pride. So in order to manage effectively we need to plan, organize, delegate and supervise. I believe that in order to raise kids perfectly without getting stressed, we definitely need these four things. By planning I mean, planning for the future of your kids as well as yourself. We have often seen that for some parents it is very important that their kid scores well always, where as for some others it should be that the kid has to be well dressed always and so on and so forth. So basically, subconsciously we all plan what we want from our children when they grow up but we haven’t consciously thought about it. When we start putting these ideas on a piece of paper, we get the outline of the actual characteristics of what we expect our children to have. I always prefer spending most of the time with them whenever they are free. Because for me, that bond counts and as per my plan I feel I want them to be stronger morally and ethically than other wise. So this becomes my primary goal.

We all know that we have limited time and resources. For me to be able to spend time with them I have outsourced housekeeping to maids. I shall focus on my prime goal which is to be with my kids and the household chores can be delegated and supervised. In this way I ensure that the quality is maintained. This reduces the stress because you are focusing on your prime KRA. Lemme simplify with an example. Suppose if we call guest for the dinner, we have a cook who has cooked the food or we order from outside. It so happens that the food doesn’t taste that great. Who is blamed? Simple, either the cook (maid) or the restaurant. Now let’s take another case, where the food is good but the kids don’t behave well. The maid is running around after them, trying to make them sit at a place and they are running around. Now whom would the guest blame? The maid (baby sitter) or the mother? I guess the later is true. No one would say “maid hasn’t taught anything”. Hence, my point here is that helping hand is available for all tasks but one has to chose wisely as to for which task you want to outsource. Thanks to my management lessons, I could figure out that never take help in your prime KRAs or else your appraisal would be affected. 

Planning and delegating also help in managing time well. It is always advisable to keep all the tasks as important but not urgent. I shall quote my example, I always keep all the watches and clocks 20 mins early and I reach everywhere 15 mins early. I would like to include the parreto’s 80:20 rule here. In simple word parreto’s rule says that in order to do a task well and on time perfectly always focus on those 20% aspect of your entire task which gives 80% of the result. I only schedule the eat and the sleep times of my kids and the rest falls in place. Once they are well slept and well fed, they would play well and it I bet you would want to spend more time with them.

All of this was the technical aspect. But, we are dealing with humans and not projects and that to the most important people of our lives. I bet no mother would feel them to be a burden unless she thinks it is not her job to raise them. Kids do not require I pad, and I phone but they require that “I” that is.” Us”, and if we are there with them then believe me they don’t even care of ipads…

So I would conclude saying I feel that there isn’t anything like a “super mom”, but if we plan our duties well we certainly would have “Super kids.” parenting can be super fun if done efficiently. Today I certainly feel indebted to God for giving me such lovely angels. Feel truly blessed.

Happy children’s day.

Festivals oh festivals…….

 

I remember my granny saying one thing: ‘a man who does not respect festivals, loses his own respect.’ I never really understood why she said this but now today I can connect to what she meant. We are social animals and need to be connected to our roots. A human would definitely need company of another human. I do understand that in India we are overloaded with festivals but then we are also offloaded with some of the major lifestyle diseases like depression, anxiety, stress and so on. 

Have we ever pondered as to why we are healthier mentally than those in the west? I thought of connecting some dots. Let me know if it makes sense to you as well. Ever since I understood American or the British economy, I found that those economies strive to make an individual self sufficient. That is; if you do not have a job- you claim unemployment. If you are retired, in Britain, you get pension. What all of this implies is that you need not depend on some other HUMAN. To make it simpler, let me rephrase saying, parents need not depend on kids and kids need not depend on parents. You don’t need to depend on neighbors as a call to 911 is enough to get you out of any difficulty. All this makes a human self sufficient but lonely. 

Now tell me one thing, today you are working and you get promoted, the first thing that comes to your mind is to share it with someone. But in such economies what happens is that all you can share with are those temporary friends that you work with. Because you have lost the touch of the real ones as you no longer need them. Now can you call 911 and share your happiness or can you claim it from the government? The answer is NO. 

We cannot replace human relations with materials and those who have tried to do it, have failed miserably. We have festivals in India so that we get-together, talk to each other, share our joys and sorrows and learn to grow. Even the delicious food that we eat also has a deep down reason. Ever heard people talking about ‘comfort food’? Yes food does relax your brain. Our ancient Rishis were very wise, they had thought of the stressful times and so designed our festivals where in we make delicious festivities and relax our brain indirectly. That is why we still don’t need a drink always to relax ourselves.What is God or spirituality? In the end it is our own connection with our soul and the supreme self. the festivals are nature's or GOD's way of keeping us healthy, rooted and bonded to each other.

 Hence, the festivities are good occasionally, they are there to make us happy mentally and be more charged up. We should thank our economy indirectly that we are not yet so self sufficient or 911 dependent, that we are still connected to humans and not technologies.

So let's enjoy the festivals with a large heart and yes do not over indulge but little bit is needed and keeps us going as well…

 

expectation from expectations....

Have we ever thought how much degree of expectation is a reasonable one? How much to expect from expectations? The maxim of today’s world is “don’t expect and live free”. Even then we are recording the highest attrition at work place and divorces in personal life..

Why does an employee leave a job? Is it only a better opportunity of is it a mismatch in expectations. Why isn’t there a maxim like, “don’t deliver and live free”. Now lets imagine if these both were to be true, what our life would be?

An employee would work, but not expect the salary and as he is not expecting anything he would not deliver. How long would this system work. This is a delirious situation in professional as well as personal life. Think of a situation when a husband would say I believe in not expecting anything out of me and the wife would say I believe in not delivering. Can any institution work like this? Be it house or organization, they are fated to fall.

So, we learn that expectations are important to keep the world going. This world runs on give and take, or let me put it in a  sophisticated way, “reciprocation”. This is the only constant thing since the barter system in the olden times. The forms of reciprocation have changed but it has not faded. With reciprocation comes expectation. 

An employee works for money because that is what he wants at that point of time and the organizations wants progress and work to be done from the employee at that point of time. Now what would happen if the organization only gives work to the employee and no money, and employee takes only money and does not deliver? There is an expectation gap. This leads to the attrition. It looks very simple but the results are dangerous. One employee leaving the organization means giving rise to the cost of recruiting and training the new one and also risk of losing your secrets to the other organization through the employee who resigned.

In my opinion the cause of all the problems is expectation gap and solution coming to my mind is very simple. Try and deliver according to other persons expectations. Looks simple; but believe me great people and organizations fail in it. If an employee is expecting a pay rise and you reward him a promotion then there is an expectation gap. Similarly, organization wants the employee to take more responsibilities and he talks of over time or shuns from it; then there is a certain expectation gap. 

 

Even in domestic situation this happens, let us take for an example, there are two friends,John and Ross. John helps Ross with money when he needed it. Now let us look at it from Ross’s angle. How should Ross meet John’s expectation as a friend? Would he expect him to also help him monetarily? The probable answer is No; because we render help in the areas where we are over flooded. If John is providing monetary help to Ross then it means that he has enough with him that he can give. So for Ross to settle the expectation bridge, he has to find what John needs and then help him in that. That’s true Expectation Management.

Hence, let’s remember the problem starts when we are delivered the same thing what we had once shared. The simple reason we gave was that we could give. We always expect what we lack.

If all of us remember in our mind to deliver the way other person wants; then I am sure this carefree virus in the atmosphere would end and we would have responsible relationships both at workplace and personal life.

So my friends don't be affraid of other person's expectations, just try and deliver as per other person's expectations and you also shall get what you expect, the way you expect. This is the essense of a true relationship.