The Leader In You

 

The Leader In You

 

I am sure you all agree with me that we are emphasizing on developing leadership qualities for our children from an incredibly early age. Leadership as a concept was earlier discussed in the business schools and now it is taught in schools. There are schools that are focused just on developing the leader with in you. This is an incredible initiative because as I always said: It is better to train little children than to repair broken adults.

Let us look little deeper into this phenomenon as to why teach leadership at an early age. As a Life Skills Coach and a Corporate trainer and having worked with kids and adults closely to help them be the best version of themselves, I have come up with my narrative on essentials of leadership training.

Let us first understand what leadership is:  I am not referring to any book-written definition here. In simple words, leadership is a combination of certain positive values in a person which are rarely found in others, which are crucial, which generate followership along with respect and one who is a good listener, or in simpler terms, a leader is a sum of values and skills that he possesses. Now, the beauty is that those skills that a leader possesses are basic skills, but they are crucial and critical. Though they are basic they are not widely found.

Let us take it a step further and start attaching skills to this broad definition. When we say that leader has positive values, we mean a leader is honest, has integrity, takes ownership of his action, has a vision, is resilient, can rise from the dust, and is a great listener. These are just a few, there are many more. These are nothing but essential life skills which you need any which ways to live a balanced life. When we say that a leader is a person who can generate followership along with respect, we are essentially saying that a leader is a great communicator. He is the person who can drill an idea, share his vision, and get people committed to a common goal. He can get people to believe in what he believes.

We can therefore say that a leader is a summation of critical and crucial life skills and communication skills, which is also an important life skill according to me.  Again, the question arises, why teach all this at an early age? The reason is quite simple: it is particularly important to have the right proportion of all these skills in the right balance to get an effective and efficient leader. We can say that an efficient leader is one who thinks right, listens right, and speaks right.

Let us understand this with an example:

I am taking a tennis game example here as we just watched the US Open. My views are simply stated here to quote an example and in no means are targeted to any race or ethnicity or religion or person.  We all saw that Novak Djokovic accidentally hit the line judge and he was disqualified. He apologized, tried to explain, but in the end, folded his hands, and obeyed the law. Getting disqualified from US Open is a big thing. I urge you to view the below video and see what he has to write after getting disqualified.

https://youtu.be/XRuu2-VIw5o: Novak hits the line judge US Open 2020

  

 I do remember another similar incident US Open Women’s Final 2018, The comeback year of Serena Williams, playing against Naomi Osaka. I am sure you all remember the temper tantrums of Serena towards the end of the game when she felt that she was being defeated by a first-timer Naomi who grew up idolizing Serena. Serena threw her racket, abused the umpire, and started shouting out of panic of losing. Naomi, on the other hand, kept herself focused on the match. Obviously, Naomi won, she was the first-ever Japanese to win the US Open. What a proud moment for herself and the country. Now you must watch her acceptance speech at the award ceremony. She apologized to the crowd saying that: she is sorry, as this was not the outcome they wanted. The whole stadium was rooting for Serena. You must watch the below videos to understand what I am trying to say here.

https://youtu.be/uiBrForlj-k : Serena Williams temper tantrums US Open Final 2018

https://youtu.be/jCm3BemDlj8 : 2018 US Open Award ceremony Naomi and Serena

 

 

The point I am trying to make here is our children can have loads of self-confidence, can be good speakers as well, and can be successful. They would not be called a leader if they do not have the right mix of values and skills to cope up with any devastating situation along with their communication. It is very easy to get high pitched and start speaking your mind without seeing right or left, it is difficult to maintain a calm composure and focus on the outcome and use all your skills wisely.  It is the balance of thinking, listening, and speaking which makes you a leader. So many times I run across parents who are like: “my child is very confident, he can speak up for himself, he is a born leader, he doesn’t need to be trained, he does a sport”. Agreed, your child has great confidence but how is he using it? How are his listening skills? How are his thinking skills? You do not want him to be brash in pursuit of being independent. That is where the balance is needed. Those kids would be successful because of their confidence and ability to speak, but would they be leaders? Would people believe in them? Would people follow them?  Would people respect them? The answer is NO.

I highly recommend you all to watch these three videos. All three of them are successful but only two of them are true leaders. As parents, it is our duty to give them an opportunity to strike that balance between thinking, listening, and speaking right. Your child might be a very self-confident speaker but look closely, is he a good listener/ is he thinking right always? He might need to work on those skills. Unless these three things are in a perfect balance, you will not get a leader.  

This is the reason the schools are also now giving importance to skills and values along with academics and sports. Enrich the child with those crucial life skills which if inculcated at the right time and in the right proportion can produce a leader.

I feel that a leader does not need any formal title. Count your child a leader, if he is thinking about the person sitting to the right and left of him. Count him a leader if he is resilient in these difficult and testing times and understands the gravity of the situation that we all are facing as humankind.  Celebrate the leader in you and your children and always strive to strike that perfect balance. Every situation would require a new you, keep learning, unlearning, and relearning and you are a Leader!!

 

https://youtu.be/uiBrForlj-k : Serena Williams temper tantrums US Open Final 2018

https://youtu.be/jCm3BemDlj8 : 2018 US Open Award ceremony Naomi and Serena

https://youtu.be/XRuu2-VIw5o: Novak hits the line judge US Open 2020