expectation from expectations....

Have we ever thought how much degree of expectation is a reasonable one? How much to expect from expectations? The maxim of today’s world is “don’t expect and live free”. Even then we are recording the highest attrition at work place and divorces in personal life..

Why does an employee leave a job? Is it only a better opportunity of is it a mismatch in expectations. Why isn’t there a maxim like, “don’t deliver and live free”. Now lets imagine if these both were to be true, what our life would be?

An employee would work, but not expect the salary and as he is not expecting anything he would not deliver. How long would this system work. This is a delirious situation in professional as well as personal life. Think of a situation when a husband would say I believe in not expecting anything out of me and the wife would say I believe in not delivering. Can any institution work like this? Be it house or organization, they are fated to fall.

So, we learn that expectations are important to keep the world going. This world runs on give and take, or let me put it in a  sophisticated way, “reciprocation”. This is the only constant thing since the barter system in the olden times. The forms of reciprocation have changed but it has not faded. With reciprocation comes expectation. 

An employee works for money because that is what he wants at that point of time and the organizations wants progress and work to be done from the employee at that point of time. Now what would happen if the organization only gives work to the employee and no money, and employee takes only money and does not deliver? There is an expectation gap. This leads to the attrition. It looks very simple but the results are dangerous. One employee leaving the organization means giving rise to the cost of recruiting and training the new one and also risk of losing your secrets to the other organization through the employee who resigned.

In my opinion the cause of all the problems is expectation gap and solution coming to my mind is very simple. Try and deliver according to other persons expectations. Looks simple; but believe me great people and organizations fail in it. If an employee is expecting a pay rise and you reward him a promotion then there is an expectation gap. Similarly, organization wants the employee to take more responsibilities and he talks of over time or shuns from it; then there is a certain expectation gap. 

 

Even in domestic situation this happens, let us take for an example, there are two friends,John and Ross. John helps Ross with money when he needed it. Now let us look at it from Ross’s angle. How should Ross meet John’s expectation as a friend? Would he expect him to also help him monetarily? The probable answer is No; because we render help in the areas where we are over flooded. If John is providing monetary help to Ross then it means that he has enough with him that he can give. So for Ross to settle the expectation bridge, he has to find what John needs and then help him in that. That’s true Expectation Management.

Hence, let’s remember the problem starts when we are delivered the same thing what we had once shared. The simple reason we gave was that we could give. We always expect what we lack.

If all of us remember in our mind to deliver the way other person wants; then I am sure this carefree virus in the atmosphere would end and we would have responsible relationships both at workplace and personal life.

So my friends don't be affraid of other person's expectations, just try and deliver as per other person's expectations and you also shall get what you expect, the way you expect. This is the essense of a true relationship.

legallity and morallity

 

Have we ever thought after doing an act whether it was legally correct and morally correct as well? Now we can argue upon it saying there is not much difference between both. But I would like to defer here. Look at the two words closely, at times what is legally correct not necessarily be morally correct as well. Let me elaborate, a sales guy takes his family out for dinner and puts the voucher in the office claim: legally correct, as he may not be caught, but is he morally correct? 

In our lives if we see, we do so many acts thinking, who is going to know? “kis ko pata chalega ?” or rather one step further “main kisi ko bataunga hi nahi”. Very easy way to hide everything. But have you ever noticed that we get caught or get trapped some way or the other and what we were hiding or camouflaging comes out in open. Were these acts illegal, the answer is most of the times NO.  But if you u would get your ask whether they were immoral, probably your answer is YES.

When we think of hiding or defending something in our mind we also know that we are ethically wrong but the ego or the urge to do the act is so high that it lets us compromise on our morals. But if you u have look the otherway round; a morally correct act would be legal. Hence, chances are that we would have a clear conscious and a clean character if we try and follow these two important checks of life: legality and morality of the issue. 

If we are legally wrong we know the punishment or the price you have to pay, but the in case of morality it hits you at the wrong time and the wrong place and by wrong person. The price that we pay for our act can at times take us births to repay. Let me quote a story from Mahabharata about Bhishma…

Shri Bhishma Pitamah had vouched celibacy, but he wanted his younger brothers to get married. Hence he, went to a swayamvar and picked up 3 princesses of a king. He was not going to marry either of them; he just won them in the swayamvar for his brothers. Out of the three princesses, one of them was already in love with some other prince. On knowing this, Shri Bhishma set her free. She thanked him and went to her love. The prince whom she loved did not accept her saying, she was now Shri Bhishma’s wife. She again went to Shri Bhishma and asked him to marry her. He declined saying that he had already vouched celibacy and he took part in the swayamvar for his brothers. This princess was left without a husband and she could not go back to her parents as well. She wandered and wandered in the woods and died. She was so hurt that she vouched to kill Bhishma in her next birth. she actually did that. She took birth as Shikhandi and was instrumental in putting Shri Bhishma to the arrow bed.

Now let us look at the whole incident disassociatedly… whatever Shri Bhishma did was legally correct, as in once you win a swayamvar, you have the right to decide what to do with the princess. Technically you are the boss of that female. This is legally correct. But how morally correct is that situation where in; you vouch for celibacy, go to a swayamvar, pick up all the three princesses when you have only two brothers and then when the third one is asking you to marry her; you conveniently get out of the situation saying you have vouched celibacy.  Legally you can be correct but morally it is a crime. Shri Bhishma, inspite of being such a great person had to pay for it, so who are we.

Let us from today look within us and try and be morally correct as well. We never know what price we might have to pay for it. Let us remember this before cheating or hurting another soul. we owe explanations of our behavior to our near and dear ones as much as we owe to ourselves.

We might never be punished for and illegal act because it is fought in the human court; but the act of immorality is fought in the God’s court. Think about it…….

Lonely at the top

Is it lonely at the top, or should I rephrase it saying, lonely in the journey and alone at the top….

No individual would be lonely at the top if he is not travelling alone in the journey to the top. Today everyone wants a quick fix to everything. In that pursuit to achieve everything quickly and with less effort, they forget to enjoy life. I agree that life poses us with difficulties and difficult situations, but imagine what our life would be if everything was at the drop of the hat. It is those difficulties that make our life beautiful. But alas! We forget to see it. We are so focused on the destination that we forget the journey and are oblivious to the fact that it is the journey that takes the most of the time; destination is just a place where we stay for some while and then we would want to climb further ahead.

Everyone wants to climb the mountain feather light. Do not want family bondage, no commitments, no time to celebrate and no time to raise a family. Let me refer to the age old story of The Hare and The Tortoise. We twist it a little, here the Hare represents a care free selfish, career oriented person climbing alone and the Tortoise is represented by a person trying to climb the ladder along with his responsibilities. The Hare certainly would be a leader for a while and would also laugh and make fool of the Tortoise of being stupid of climbing with people. Now here is the twist, the Hare was busy climbing and running his way through the mountain, he failed to admire the beauty that  the mountains had to offer, he did see a beautiful waterfall emerging, but thought, ‘let me not waste time, I shall get all these at the top. Reaching to the top is important.’ He also met a Bear on the way, who invited him to his house, but the Hare had only one thing in the mind; he declined the offer thinking," I shall have many Bears waiting to call me to their place once I am at the top."

Now let’s see what happens to the Tortoise. Poor tortoise was climbing at his own speed. He also saw the mountain and the perfect landscape that the mountains had to offer. He knew that he was very slow and the Hare was ahead but even then, he stopped for a while to enjoy the beauty of the nature. He thanked the Hare from his heart for encouraging him to climb this much. Winning or losing was never in his mind. He was just enjoying the journey. He also met Bear and the Bear invited him over. He accepted the invitation and they became good friends. Bear then introduced him to some of his other friends. All of them accompanied the Tortoise in his journey saying that he was new to the place and was not well versed with the road. While they were climbing, the Bear got hurt in his foot and so everyone waited till he was fine.The Tortoise took the bear on his shoulder till the time he was able to walk on his own. They did waste time, but they did not seem to mind it.

Meanwhile, the Hare reached the top all exhausted, tired and alone. He wanted to scream and celebrate his victory, but Alas! Where was the family and where were the friends? They were so far that even if he would have screamed his throat out, they wouldn’t have heard him. Not disappointing, he thought of making new friends. Little did he know that there is not much place at the top and only one person can stand.  He was lonely in the journey and alone at the top. He could see the world beneath clearly but he had reached so high that the world could not see him.

On the other side, the Tortoise was slowly and steadily climbing the mountain. The Hare soon realized his mistake and thought of taking the journey backward and get some of his friends up there with him. The irony of success ladder is that you meet the same people on your way down which you met on your way up. Having said that I need not say what happened to the Hare.

The Tortoise slowly made his way to the top and he had his friends and family with him to scream and celebrate his success. They never needed to look down as their world was right there with them and they started enjoying their stay as much as they had enjoyed their journey.

It is in our hands whether we like to climb like a Hare or a Tortoise. Even if we chose to climb like a Tortoise, I guarantee that we would reach to the top but take a longer time than the Hare.

The choice is ours either we are lonely in the journey and alone at the top or visa versa. Make the most of the time that you have with your family, believe me, you would not enjoy your victory without them. Your kids would get busy in their own world and would begin their journeys to climb their own mountains. If you want them to take you along in their journey, then first, you take them along with you in yours.... They are the ones who would celebrate your success and scream for your victory.

Poor are the people who reach to the top alone as they have lost everything on their way in order to travel feather light....

Think about it.......